


Bucky Who

by TheRothwoman



Series: Scenes From the New Life(s) of Bucky Barnes [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Gen, M/M, Reaction, Swearing, Texting, doctor who - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9660833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRothwoman/pseuds/TheRothwoman
Summary: A companion piece to the TV chapter of To Have a Home. Join Bucky Barnes as he texts his way through Seasons 1-9 of New Who, laughs, cries, and rages about historical inaccuracies.





	1. Season 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Have a Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8353570) by [TheRothwoman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRothwoman/pseuds/TheRothwoman). 



> This was going to be what chapter 5 of To Have a Home was actually going to look like, but then I decided to take a different approach. You absolutely don't need to read this to understand anything else in the main fic, nor do you necessarily need to read the rest of To Have a Home to understand anything here (although at least reading the rest of [the TV chapter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8353570/chapters/21823745) might help).

Bucky: [Okay I just finished the first episode.]

Bucky: [We’ve already got alien time travelers, some sort of space war, murder mannequins, and exploding buildings.]

Bucky: [I’m not sure how much crazier this show can get.]

Sam: [oh]

Sam: [oh man you just wait]

* * *

 

Bucky: [Okay I’ll admit, I was not expecting the tin can robot to be that genuinely scary.]

Bucky: [But wow that thing inside it opens up so many questions]

Bucky: [Are Daleks really not capable of emotion without outside influence?]

Bucky: [Who the hell programmed them so that they see emotion as a “sickness”?]

Bucky: [If they evolved as those blobs, how did they even build those metal casings?]

Bucky: [And if they didn’t, how long have they be devolving? What did they look like before? What were they?]

Bucky: [Oh well, if that was the last one we’ll probably never know.]

Sam: [umm]

Steve: [Just keep watching…]

* * *

 

Bucky: [YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THIS SHOW WAS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY]

Sam: [Which episode?]

Bucky: [FATHER’S DAY]

Bucky: [Wait sorry didn’t mean to capslock that]

Bucky: [Or maybe I did]

Bucky: [Because wow that hurt]

Bucky: [That had to be the saddest episode of the entire show.]

Natasha: [Oh dear]

Sam: [ahahahahahahaha]

Sam: [AHAHAHAHAHA]

Steve: [Sam]

Sam: [AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]

Steve: [Sam no]

Sam: [OHOHOHO MAAAAAN]

Bucky: [wow what]

Sam: [YOU JUST WAIT LIL BUCKAROO]

Sam: [YOU. JUST. WAIT.]

Bucky: [Okay I’ll heed your warning if you promise to never call me Lil Buckaroo again.] 

Sam: [Deal]

Natasha: [You might like the next two, Barnes. World War II story.]

* * *

 

Bucky: [Okay Steve, be honest…]

Bucky: [You, me, and Captain Jack]

Steve: [Yes?]

Bucky: [What if we did]

Steve: [What if we did what?]

Bucky: […Steve come on, we both know I don’t need to fill in the blank here]

Bucky: [If we could, would you?]

Steve: [Huh, I hadn’t thought of that before.]

Steve: [Yeah, sure]

Bucky: [:)]

Bucky: [On a heavier note, wow]

Bucky: [I mean, we saw some wild things fighting Hydra, but this was something else.]

Bucky: [I honestly shudder to think what would’ve happened if they’d managed to weaponize spooky children.]

Bucky: [“Just this once, everybody lives” though…]

* * *

 

Bucky: [OKAY THERE ARE A LOT OF DALEKS]

Bucky: [IT TOOK THEM AN ENTIRE EPISODE AND HOW MANY DEAD SOLDIERS TO TAKE DOWN JUST ONE????]

Sam: [Okay so]

Sam: [I think it’s time I introduced you to the Law of of Conservation of Ninjutsu.]

* * *

 

Bucky: [Oh damn]

Bucky: [So Rose basically became God for a few minutes and then she got fixed because the Doctor kissed her?]

Sam: [Trust me, this is NOT the weirdest romance that happens on this show.]

Bucky: [Huh. Okay.]

Bucky: [That ending, though.]

Bucky: [I thought I was gonna cry again but then freaking BARCELONA]

Steve: [Doesn’t he have great hair, though?]

Bucky: [YES]

Bucky: [Steve you should definitely try that do]


	2. Season 2

Bucky: [So I like Tennant’s Doctor so far, but I’m not sure how I feel about Mickey popping in and out?]

Bucky: [On one hand I feel kinda bad for him, but on the other hand does he ever do anything other than complain and badger Rose about relationships?]

Sam: [Okay woah]

Sam: [First rule of watching Doctor Who while being acquainted with me: do not insult my homeboy Mickey Smith.]

Bucky: [Does he get…better?]

Sam: [Yes. Yes he does.]

Bucky: [Okay good.]

Bucky: [wait]

Bucky: [OH MY GOD THIS WOMAN HAS A ROBOT DOG]

Bucky: [PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S SPELLED K-9]

Bucky: [I think I’ve found my new favorite character]

Sam: [Oh man, look K-9’s just a gimmick, he’s nothing to get excited about.]

Bucky: [Hey, if you can like Mickey, I can like K-9.]

Sam: […]

Sam: […fine]

* * *

 

Bucky: [oh my god]

Bucky: [oh my god what was he going to say]

Steve: [Uh oh]

Steve: [Buck you just finished Doomsday, didn’t you?]

Bucky: [HE WAS GOING TO SAY ONE LAST THING TO HER BEFORE THEY WERE SEPARATED FOREVER]

Bucky: [AND HIS CONNECTION WAS LOST]

Bucky: [And now we’ve got this random redhead in a wedding dress??]

Bucky: [Steve have you ever laughed and cried at the same time?]

Bucky: [It’s a very strange experience]


	3. Season 3

Bucky: [Okay I just finished Gridlock]

Bucky: [I was really sad about the Face of Boe at first, but then I saw the preview for the next episode.]

Bucky: [STEVE IT’S OUR TIME]

Bucky: [IT’S NEW YORK IN THE 30S]

Steve: [Yes, yes it is]

Bucky: [You don’t sound too enthused about that]

Sam: [should we warn him?]

Natasha: [My lips are sealed. Let Barnes enjoy it if he wants.]

Bucky: [Wait warn me about what?]

Bucky: [C’mon it’s Old New York and showgirls and Hoovervilles]

Bucky: [Steve’s it’s practically everything we grew up with but with a few monsters]

Bucky: [and Daleks]

Bucky: [What? Are you worried I’ll get freaked out about space mutant robots trying to blow up our old home?]

Steve: [Nnnno…]

Steve: [You’ll…you’ll see.]

Bucky: [Well I’m looking forward to this one]

Bucky: [Heck I’m starting it right now]

* * *

 

Bucky: [WHAT???]

Bucky: [THE COCK-SPLITTING FUCK????]

Bucky: [DID I JUST WATCH?????]

Sam: [There he goes]

Bucky: [NO WILSON YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND]

Bucky: [I AM OFFENDED BY THIS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL]

Bucky: [THE VOICES. THE ACCENTS.]

Bucky: [WE DID NOT TALK LIKE THAT]

Bucky: [*NOBODY* TALKED LIKE THAT]

Bucky: [STEVE BACK ME UP HERE]

Steve: [Yeah he’s right]

Bucky: [THANK YOU]

Steve: [If it makes you feel better, it doesn’t really get much worse than this?]

Steve: [So]

Steve: [If you made it through those episodes you should be fine.]

Bucky: […okay that’s mildly reassuring]

Bucky: [now where was I]

* * *

 

Bucky: [Jesus Christ]

Bucky: [I’m glad I toughed it through those New York Dalek episodes]

Bucky: [Because now I’ve made it through Human Nature and The Family of Blood and I am a weeping mess.]

Sam: [That bad, huh?]

Bucky: [Sam look]

Bucky: [This was a story about a man losing his identity]

Bucky: [This was a story about boys going to war]

Bucky: [This was a story about a hero trying to save the person they loved when they’d lost themselves]

Bucky: [And yes I do mean the hero is Martha]

Bucky: [She’s amazing, fight me]

Sam: [Isn’t she tho? :)]

Bucky: [I lost it for a bit when John Smith had to die]

Bucky: [I just barely made it through when the kids were in the trenches]

Bucky: [But]

Bucky: [Remembrance Day]

Bucky: [Technically I finished the episode about 20 minutes ago but…]

Steve: [You gonna be okay Buck?]

Bucky: [Yeah I think so, but thanks]

Bucky: [I think it’s time I went to bed]

Bucky: [G’night guys]

Steve: [Good night!]

Sam: [Don’t let the scarecrows bite]

Bucky: [ha]

* * *

 

Bucky: [This is a bad night wow]

Bucky: [Only two hours of sleep before the screaming started]

Steve: [You want to call and chat?]

Bucky: [Actually not right now]

Bucky: [The next episode looks really good, I’m gonna watch that]

Steve: [Wait]

Steve: [I think I remember what the next episode is, but remind me]

Bucky: [Blink]

Sam: [OH]

Sam: [OH NO]

Steve: [Bucky DON’T]

Natasha: [This is a mistake, Barnes]

Sam: [DO NOT]

Bucky: [Wow hang on]

Steve: [This is!!]

Steve: [NOT an episode you want to watch right after a nightmare!!]

Sam: [I SAY THIS AS SOMEONE ONLY KIND OF CONCERNED FOR YOUR WELLBEING]

Sam: [DON’T]

Sam: [WATCH]

Sam: [BLINK]

Sam: [ALONE]

Bucky: [Sam]

Sam: [AT NIGHT]

Sam: [DON’T DO IT]

Bucky: [Guys wait]

Bucky: [Are you worried about me watching this episode because of the content or because it has scary monsters in it?]

Steve: [Content]

Sam: [Scary monsters]

Natasha: [A bit of both.]

Steve: [It’s an episode about people being forcibly displaced in time.]

Sam: [WEEPING ANGELS THOUGH]

Sam: [I SWEAR THERE’S STATUES EVERYWHERE]

Sam: [AND YOU WILL LOOK TWICE AT EVERY ONE OF THEM AFTER THIS]

Bucky: […okay]

Bucky: [I’m going in]

* * *

 

Bucky: [Wow.]

Bucky: [That was a damn good episode of television.]

Sam: [Wait]

Sam: [So…you’re fine?]

Bucky: [Yep, I thought that episode was incredible.]

Sam: [So]

Sam: [You’re not fazed?]

Sam: [At all?]

Sam: [By any of it?]

Bucky: [A few jumps here and there but yeah]

Bucky: [Great stuff, honestly!]

Sam: [No.]

Sam: [No way, you can’t be fine]

Bucky: [I will send you a picture of my face to show you just how fine I am.]

Sam: [Woah]

Sam: [That]

Sam: [That is indeed the face of a man unfazed.]

* * *

 

Bucky: [HE WAS THE MASTER]

Bucky: [THE NICE OLD PROFESSOR WAS THE MASTER]

Steve: [Unfortunately, yeah.]

Sam: [Wait]

Sam: [How do you even know who the Master is??]

Bucky: [Internet]

Bucky: [I wanted to learn more about UNIT so I read up.]

Bucky: [They said they fought all kinds of alien threats, including the Master.]

Bucky: [Let’s just say I spent way more of that day reading Wikipedia than I planned.]

Sam: [Sometimes these days we call that a Wiki Walk.]

Steve: [Wiki Walk?]

Bucky: [Huh, I like that]

* * *

 

Bucky: [Wwwwwow]

Bucky: [Steve. “We’re the only ones left.”]

Bucky: [“All we’ve got is each other.”]

Steve: [Bucky stop]

Bucky: [?]

Steve: [I didn’t handle this scene well for a while.]

Steve: [Reminded me too much of you.]

Bucky: […but I wasn’t an evil megalomaniac who took over the world]

Steve: [The Doctor and the Master have a very long history together. They even used to be best friends.]

Steve: [But something twisted the Master. It was like if you kept being the Winter Soldier but were leading Hydra, or something like that.]

Steve: [But to go through a war and come out the other end when everyone else was gone, only to find one other survivor]

Steve: [And they’re a corruption of someone you cared about more than anything]

Steve: [I’ve been there.]

Bucky: [Oh god, Steve…]

Steve: [Imagine thinking you’re all alone in the world, and then getting someone important from the old days back, only to have them literally die in your arms.]

Bucky: [Jesus Christ]

Bucky: [Do you want me to come up to your place for a bit?]

Steve: [I couldn’t ask you to do that at this time of night. From what you’ve been telling me about your sleep schedule, it’s way worse than mine.]

Steve: [But absolutely, tomorrow.]

Bucky: [Okay, just checking.]

Steve: [Actually, can I call you now? After thinking about all that again, I just want to hear your voice.]

Bucky: [Of course, anytime.]


	4. Season 4 and Specials

Bucky: [Wait a minute…]

Bucky: [Who exactly is this Professor River Song character and why is she such a Mystery Woman?]

Natasha: [Oh Barnes]

Sam: [bruh]

Steve: [Well]

Sam: [She is]

Natasha: [She’s an adventure]

Sam: [THE Mystery Woman]

Steve: [You’ll know basically everything you need to know about her by the end of season 6]

Bucky: [Gotcha, I’ll take that as a “just keep watching and you’ll find out.”]

* * *

 

Steve: [Buck, are you okay? I thought you would’ve finished Midnight an hour ago?]

Bucky: [The answers are No and Yes.]

Bucky: [Yes I finished Midnight and No I’m not okay]

Bucky: [I’ve gone for a walk]

Bucky: [A long walk]

Bucky: [Literally the only thing keeping me going through the last 15 minutes of that episode was knowing that the Doctor was the main character and wasn’t going to die]

Bucky: [Jesus Christ Steve]

Bucky: [I never had to sit back and scream silently while I stared out of my own eyeballs at my body committing horrors I couldn’t control]

Bucky: [That part of my brain was shut down]

Bucky: [The part that was active was switched to Hydra-logic so that all the killing and the success of the mission were all that made sense.]

Bucky: [But how close was I to being the Doctor at the end]

Bucky: [I don’t care what he said about it being a “fascinating new life form that just wants to learn” or whatever]

Bucky: [If it suppresses free will on an individual level with that amount of totality, it’s evil]

Bucky: [Frankly I’m ASTOUNDED I can even be this eloquent right now, Jesus Christ…]

Steve: [I…I’m sorry Buck, I really don’t know what to say to that.]

Steve: [I mean you’re absolutely right about that level of suppression being fundamentally wrong]

Steve: [But I meant everything before that.]

Bucky: [It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything]

Bucky: [I just needed to get that out.]

Steve: [Where are you?]

Bucky: [Almost at Brooklyn Bridge Park]

Bucky: [I might drop by, but I’m a little iffy about getting on buses or trains right now]

Bucky: [I might walk. It’s a really nice night for a walk.]

Steve: [Well I’m not going anywhere, if you do come over]

Bucky: [I’m still figuring out the social algorithm for emojis and level of sappiness based on situation but] 

Bucky: [<3]

* * *

 

Bucky: [NO]

Bucky: [NO NO NO NONO]

Bucky: [IT WAS SO HAPPY]

Bucky: [THEY ALL CAME BACK TOGETHER AS A TEAM TO SAVE THE PLANET]

Bucky: [AND THEN DONNA]

Bucky: [HOW. WHY. WHO ALLOWED THAT.]

Sam: [But dude, she was gonna die otherwise.]

Natasha: [Uh oh]

Bucky: [THAT’S NOT THE POINT!?!]

Bucky: [THEY WERE HER MEMORIES AND SHE SAID NO]

Bucky: [SHE LITERALLY *BEGGED* HIM]

Bucky: [Honestly that ending would’ve destroyed my faith in the Tenth Doctor if it wasn’t for the fact that I could really tell how badly he didn’t want to do that.]

Bucky: [Please tell me no one gets mind-wiped like that again on this show]

Natasha: [Well…]

Sam: [Umm]

Steve: [Mind-wiped “like that”?]

Steve: [No, nobody gets forcibly mind-wiped while begging for mercy…]

Steve: [Although mind-wipes and perception alternations do sometimes crop up in later seasons.]

Bucky: […]

Bucky: [Well that’s…helpful to know.]

Steve: [You want us to give you a list of episodes to be cautious of?]

Bucky: [You know, I might.]

Bucky: [I do still want to keep going, though. I’ve come this far.]

Sam: [Cool, get ready to say goodbye to Tennant in a few episodes.]

Steve: [Sam, that was uncalled for] 

Bucky: [I made it through Eccleston’s goodbye in the end. I’ll be fine.]

* * *

 

Bucky: [RE: MY TEXT FROM LAST NIGHT]

Bucky: [CORRECTION: I AM NOT FINE]

Bucky: [I was fine for a while though]

Bucky: [Wilf came back and if anything bad happened to him I would’ve put my metal fist through something]

Bucky: [Also whatever the hell they did with the Master made little enough sense that I just laughed it off]

Bucky: [Incidentally I am AMAZED that he and the Doctor never made out]

Sam: [THANK you]

Bucky: [Or at least said “I love you”]

Bucky: [Because Jesus Christ, somehow I don’t think you just give a speech about wanting to travel the universe with someone and end it with “I don’t know what I’d be without you” if you’re not trying to Say Something]

Sam: [Honest question tho, would you make out with Tennant’s Doctor?]

Bucky: [But then it got near the end and everything went crazy]

Bucky: [BUT HE GOT TO GO]

Bucky: [AND SEE ALL THOSE FRIENDS HE LOVED]

Bucky: [ONE LAST TIME BEFORE DYING]

Bucky: [“I DON’T WANT TO GO” INDEED]

Bucky: [New guy’s got one hell of a chin on him wow]

Bucky: [And yes Sam I would make out with him in a heartbeat]

Bucky: [Tennant, not the new guy]


	5. Season 5

Bucky: [Okay hang on]

Bucky: [I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again]

Bucky: [Steve and I saw some wild things while fighting Hydra]

Steve: [You made it to the Rainbow Dalek Blitz episode?]

Bucky: [I MADE IT TO THE RAINBOW DALEK BLITZ EPISODE]

Bucky: [AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK]

Bucky: [Last time they were in WWII, it felt like they were saying “here is a scarier version of war with alien technology”]

Bucky: [But now it’s like they’re trying to say “here’s a FUN version of war with bright colors and spaceships!”]

Bucky: [And this just???]

Bucky: [Seems wrong???]

Bucky: [But I still want to like it for some reason???]

Steve: [Yeah, I felt the same way about this one.]

Steve: [Even though technically I WAS the “fun version of war with bright colors.”]

Bucky: [Okay but Steve consider]

Bucky: [If we had]

Bucky: [Spitfires]

Bucky: [in space]

Bucky: [we might not’ve even needed you, we could’ve just out-awesomed Hitler.]

* * *

 

Steve: [Well that’s certainly one way of looking at it.] 

Bucky: [Wow okay no]

Bucky: [I actually can’t]

Bucky: [I can’t finish this episode]

Steve: [Which one?]

Bucky: [Amy’s Choice]

Bucky: [Reality distortion caused by a man who looks suspiciously like Zola? No, I can’t do it.]

Bucky: [And I know it was on the List too]

Bucky: [Just…tell me how it ends and I’ll move on to the next episode.]

Steve: [Sure thing]

Steve: [Both “realities” were dreams created by psychic pollen that got into the TARDIS. They were fine the whole time.]

Bucky: [Oh]

Steve: [The Dream Lord was actually just a manifestation of the Doctor’s own self-loathing.]

Bucky: [OH]

Steve: [You doing okay?]

Bucky: [I just got started tonight, I might actually try and plow through the rest of the season. The night is young.]

Steve: [Buck it’s about 2AM]

Bucky: [Steve, time means nothing when you can’t sleep]

Bucky: [And you’ve got nowhere to go in the morning]

Steve: [I don’t know if I’ve said this recently but…]

Steve: [I worry about you, Bucky.]

Bucky: [I’m not finding a hug emoji but just pretend there’s one here]

Bucky: [Steve, in the grand scheme of things I’m in a better place now than I’ve been in about 80 years]

Bucky: [I don’t have to worry about being sent out to kill people, I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’ll have enough to eat in a day or a bed to sleep in at night]

Bucky: [Yes I’ve had plenty of sleepless nights, but it’s not from anything external.]

Bucky: [I know I’ve gotten pretty invested in this TV show and I know it might seem weird to hear me saying this right now but again “in the grand scheme of things” I think I’ll be okay.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this section leads into the rest of the TV chapter from To Have a Home, so if you haven't been following that fic but want a narrative interlude, [you can go check that part out right here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8353570/chapters/21823745).


End file.
